Sunday, 22 September 2013

Sexy Sunday, Sex Positive Profiles- Jack

1. Name-
Jack

2. Occupation-
Programmer/Analyst

3. How do you self-define?-
Heteroromantic Asexual.

4. What does the word sex mean to you?-
Something others strive for, but it's not my desire with anyone.

5. What does the sex positive movement mean to you?-
It's bringing sex into conversations, which enable people to be more open to the idea that some people don't have the same sexual desires, and that it's okay that it happens that way. I hope that eventually asexuality no longer becomes this thing with connotations of sex hating.

6.
Sweet or savoury- Sweet!
Book or film- Books on Spirituality and Psychology
Rainbow or glitter- Rainbows after the storm
Unicorns or dinasours- dinosaurs
Sunset or sunrise- Sunrise, just before it, too
Lights on or off- off, mostly, I let the sun do the lighting
Candles or fairy lights- candles held by fairies
Magazines or newspapers- Depends
Porn or erotic literature- neither
Online dating or set ups- meh
Cats or dogs- cats
Cinema or theatre- theatre, you're talking to a voice actor for deaf theatre.

7. What's your favourite sex posi resource?-
I enjoy a bit of Laci Green, but I believe that talking with people who are also sex positive about sex is better for education. It's why I founded the Facebook Group "Sex Positive Discussion"

8. Your perfect date?-
I always enjoyed fondue restaurants for my dates: it's food, so you don't have to worry about doing nothing or getting hungry; and it's a long time, making for some good conversation opportunities.

9. What was your sex ed like in school? Good points/bad points? Marks out of 10?-
It was meh. We didn't talk about the effects on sex with the body, we mainly talked about how to deal with puberty. Because there was no conversation on sex and sexuality, it became this thing whispered about, and it felt like I was trapped by my lack of desire or knowledge.

10.  What is your experience of asexuality?-
It has been a little frustrating, when friends talk about sex and expect you to totally know what their meaning is when you can't. As an asexual, I do not get sexually attracted to anyone, but I still have that desire for a romantic relationship, but the way we talk about love and sex in today's culture people tend to assume that I'm unable to love. And that's why I'm sex positive, so that ideas of love can be safely separated from ideas of sex.

11. At what age did you start masturbating?-
16, I think? I do have a sex drive

12. What are your political views?-
I prefer not to say

13. Who is your sex idol?-
A spoon, because I love to do it.

14.
Love to- snuggle, kiss, and cuddle
Sometimes will- Experiment with stuff that does not involve the genitals
Uncomfortable with- Sex and genitals

15. You get turned into an inanimate sex related object, what are you?-
Rope?

16. What is your true passion in life?-
Creating new worlds, both digitally and artistically

17. You send one sex positive message out into the word in 7 words, what is it?-
People should know sex and sexuality.

18. Do you believe everyone has a kink? If so what's yours?-
Not really, and I do necessarily have one.

19. How do you define you relationship status at the moment?-
single and looking

20. Where can we see more of you?-
Facebook's Sex Posi Discussion Group.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Sexy Sunday, Sex Positive Profiles- Chris

1. Name-
Chris

2. Occupation-
Sabbatical Officer

3. How do you self-define?-
Cis &Pan/Omni (if they consent, then that's enough for me :) )

4. What does the word sex mean to you?-
It can mean many things, the medical definition (some would say stereotyping) of your genitalia, a source of /seriously/ fun experimentation & expression of love & trust

5. What does the sex positive movement mean to you?-
TBH, Not much, because I don't know enough about it. However, I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the other posts on this blog & learning more!

6.
Sweet or savoury- savoury
Book or film- damn you for making me choose! >__< :(
Rainbow or glitter- rainbow
Unicorns or dinasours- dinosaurs
Sunset or sunrise- sunrise
Lights on or off- on
Candles or fairy lights- candles
Cuddles or love letters- cuddles
Porn or erotic literature- damn you for making me choose! >__< :(
Online dating or set ups- don't mind, whatever works
Cats or dogs- dogs
Tea or coffee- coffee

7. What's your favourite sex posi resource?-
Don't really have one, though this blog is awesome! ;D

8. Your perfect date?-
Dinner, movie & sex - while travelling in a private jet/yacht

9. What was your sex ed like in school? Good points/bad points? Marks out of 10?-
Lol, what sex ed? I started looking at encyclopaedias when I was in P2-3, then went to catholic schools, so non-existent, particularly as most of the secondary level eduction was in a catholic, all-boys school

10. What's your wildest sexual experience?-
Ate out & received a golden shower

11. At what age did you start masturbating?-
10ish, I think

12. What are your political views?-
Very liberal

13. Who is your sex idol?-
Don't really have one

14. 
Love to- Use my hands/mouth on boobs/genitals, watch golden showers
Sometimes will- Have penetrative sex (anal/vaginal)
Uncomfortable with- nothing, come at/on me ;) (Also see this http://lh5.ggpht.com/-pJCWkCFhv68/UhfUz5XCINI/ AAAAAAAAAQk/EgzcGiKa-vk/s1600/sexmap10.jpg)

15. You get turned into an inanimate sex related object, what are you?-
a phone

16. What is your true passion in life?-
IT, & accessibility

17. You send one sex positive message out into the word in 7 words, what is it?-
Fuck people (take that either way ;) )

18. Do you believe everyone has a kink? If so what's yours?-
Absolutely! Can't get enough of this http://lh5.ggpht.com/-pJCWkCFhv68/UhfUz5XCINI/AAAAAAAAAQk/EgzcGiKa-vk/s1600/sexmap10.jpg & Watersports, giving oral, rimming, BDSM

19. How do you define you relationship status at the moment?-
In a very happy relationship ;D

20. Where can we see more of you?- 
https://extensionofmyimagination. tumblr.com & https://twitter.com/chris18890

(If you're sex positive and would like to be featured please get in touch via facebook, by commenting on this post or by emailing me- pipgeorgeson@gmail.com)

Monday, 9 September 2013

5 Things That Aren't Racism

Ok, let me preface this post by saying that as a mixed race person who is percieved to be wholly white- I experience a lot of white privilege. Racism I've experienced has mainly been verbal abuse and it most certainly hasn't been often. You could say I'm lucky that I don't have to worry about experiencing racism. You could say I'm unlucky because I exist in a society that has racism (and other oppression) at all. Because I experience white privilege I usually keep my mouth shut on what constitutes the oppression of people of colour (PoC) because I'm not experiencing 99% of it.
But this post is to society at large, and it's about what isn't racism, what shouldn't be compared to racism and why and as someone who has experienced racism, I feel entitled to outline these points.

5 Things that aren't racism

1. A white person taking the piss out of Justin Bieber for being American

Whilst you might really like Justin Bieber and want to defend his honour...don't try and change the meaning of the word 'race'. The dictionary definition may be 'classes of people' but you know that 'racism' relates to oppression on the basis of ethnicity. Just like we understand that class usually relates to socio-economic and cultural background. Xenophobia is different to racism. And to be honest xenophobia has a more heartbreaking effect on someone trying to emigrate from another country to ours than it has on Justin Bieber. Some wealthy celebrity goes on living his life, those who experience oppression get their lives shaped for them by racism and xenophobia. Put down the strawman argument and step away from the false premise. (Sidenote- someone actually argued this exact point with me, twice.)

2. When a PoC is mean to you
(Sidenote- I'm paraphrasing from tumblr here)
What racism is-
The continued devestation of counties with bombs and wars, the historic and unrelenting oppression of PoC, the continued under employment, bigotry and disadvantage experienced by PoC.
What white people think racism is-
A black girl in school was mean to me.

3. Homophobia
I've spoken previously about how uncomfortable I am with white LGBT people conflating homophobia with racism. Not because I think one is worse, but because a white LGBT person only experiences one of these things and doesn't have the experience to talk on the other with authority.
The homophobic response to same sex marriage is not the same as segregation.
STAAHP.

4. When Diane Abbott points out facts
(Sidenote- I'm not promoting or condoning Abbott's politics or Labour) So Abbott once tweeted 'White people love playing 'divide and rule' We should not play their game.' The media was alight with people talking about 'reverse racism' and 'racism against white people' and to that I say- LOOOL.

Another time, Abbott stated that the 'British invented racism'. So white people get all upset because Diane Abbott is making generalisations about them as a group. She's making out that someone who has a privileged position due to being white (in a country that had, lets say, a little hand in imperialism and the slave trade, which created white supremacy) still have imperialist values.

Well guess what? She's right. And as a PoC in a country that still has racist values she cannot possibley oppress privileged white people by pointing out facts. If her comments offend you more than this then you're a victim of your own privileged ego.

5. Someone calling all men 'bastards'
Let's compare two situations
Situation a- someone who isn't a man says 'Oh, Jeff really pissed me off today, why are all men such bastards?'
Outcome- Jeff may be upset if he hears, but he maintains his male privilege anyway.

Situation b- a white person uses a racist slur in a room full of white people.
Outcome- the historical oppression, enslavement and marginalisation of PoC began the use of racist words, the continued use of them maintains a system that sees PoC as less than (linguistics, innit). Language stregnthens and maintains value systems and the other white people in the room see that this word is 'acceptable' in this context.
Hey, guess what? A person generalising about men isn't the same as the structural oppression of generations of people, and the maintainance of that through saying words that were tools of that oppression. Your hurt feelings don't license you to compare or conflate someone being mean to the oppression of a group you don't define into. Get over yourself.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Sexy Sunday, Sex Positive Profiles- Codiekinz


1. Name-
Codiekinz
2. Occupation-
Talent booker at a kids casting agency, human rights activist & Eminem tribute act.
3. How do you self define-
Cis gendered, generally bisexual.
4. What does the word sex mean to you?-
The word sex has changed in meaning over the past few years. But now? It means a physical representation of love, it means fun and adventure and safety and enjoyment.
5. What does the sex positive movement mean to you?-
I've always been made to feel like a "slut". That sex isn't okay to talk and joke about and being open about experiences, good and bad is wrong. Being sex positive means feeling like talking about it is okay. Education is the key to enjoying sex. If you know how to do things safely, & positively, sex is gonna be way better. I promise.
6.
Sweet or savoury- biggest sweet tooth ever.
Book or film- book book book!
Rainbow or glitter- glittery rainbows!
Unicorns or dinasours- Unisaurs. I'm wearing a dinosaur onesie right now.
The Smiths or The Clash- The Cure! ;)
Lights on or off- on! I like to remember how attractive my boyfriend is, so lights on! :)
Candles or fairy lights- fairy lights!
Cuddles or love letters- Both! Please!
Porn or erotic literature- For a quick fix, porn can be good, but for a slow burner, a well written erotic novel is best.
Online dating or set ups- Neither have ever worked for me. I tend to fall into relationships :)
Cats or dogs- CATS!!!
Spongebob or tigger- T-I-double g-er!
7. What's your favourite sex posi resource?-
Sexplanations on YouTube. Dr Doe is an incredible person! So friendly and like able and knowledgeable. She makes everything seem okay, no judgement.
8. Your perfect date?-
A scavenger hunt maybe! Around a city at night ending with a picnic. Or a Maccys. A date should be about the person you're with, so the place and price shouldn't matter so much :)
9. What was your sex ed like in school? Good points/bad points? Marks out of 10?-
So i moved schools in year 5. The school I left taught sex Ed in year 6 and the school I joined had had it in year 4. So I missed it. We did however go on a London trip, to the natural history museum. Were given a worksheet about reproduction and has to find the answers in the exhibition. Lazy!
10. What's your wildest sexual experience?-
A threesome. In my ex boyfriends house. He wasn't there.
11. At what age did you start masturbating?-
I think I was super young. I don't even remember starting, I guess I just always have.
12. What are your political views?-
I'm  a hippy. I guess I'm pretty left wing.
13. Who is your sex idol?-
Dr Doe. And Dita Von Tease. And my boyfriend :)
14.
Love to- kiss!
Sometimes will- fart during sex. And giggle.
Uncomfortable with- people who won't take no for an answer.
15. What is your sex motto?-
Don't ever feel like you have to. You are not obliged to give anyone sex. Not a partner. Not a stranger. Just have fun with the person you want. Provided they want to too!
16. What is your true passion in life?-
I would say people, like Xander. But to avoid repetition I say art & words. & poetry & controversy. 
17. You send one sex positive message out into the word in 7 words, what is it?-
Don't believe the hype, make it yours.
18. Do you believe everyone has a kink?-
I do think so. And if you don't have one yet, enjoy finding it!
19. How do you define you relationship status at the moment?-
Very much in love, with my best friend.
20. Where can we see more of you?-
Www.needsmorezombies.tumblr.com
@codiekinz
(If you're sex positive and would like to be featured please get in touch via facebook, by commenting on this post or by emailing me- pipgeorgeson@gmail.com)

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Mary Lambert- marry me?!

So Mary Lambert is a singer and spoken word artist who has worked with some guy you might have heard of called Macklemore? She's not single. We've never met. And she's not going to marry me.

But today I read something written by her that made me want to ask her to. In fact, it made me want to stand on top of a big hill and throw glitter around. Mary Lambert is...well...pretty fucking amazing!

I think a lot about how the media and music industry never produce people 'like me' or never show people like the people I know. And I know I'm in a comfortable little bubble. Most of my friends define into multiple liberation groups and are intersectional feminists, socialists, anarchist or just have genuinely shit hot politics.

So when I see celebrities and musicians who think rape jokes are hilarious and being fat is a crime- it shocks me. But not as much as it should. Because we get used to the idea that things like body positivity, self care, and working against the stigma of mental health are things we have to do. Things we have to talk about and things musicians & celebrities are so detached from that we stopped reading magazines and watch MTV years ago.

That's what I did think. Now I saw Lambert's performance of I Know Girls a while ago and posted it on facebook. Basically, I forgot about it because I thought it was a fluke. But tonight I saw what Mary Lambert had written and I was blown away. I read about her life. All I could think was 'this sounds like someone I could have an excellent feminist rant with' (basically the yard stick by which I measure friendships).

So, old me, you were wrong. There are successful people out there that have brilliant politics. They didn't have to dillute themselves or disregard their values to get there.

I'm not saying it's a war won. I'm saying it's a battle I had chalked up as a loss...reopened?

Anyway, I'll leave you with the a quote from the woman I'm not going to marry. But who I'd quite like to rant with. And who happens to be spreading this message to millions of people.

When you shame another’s weight (be it thin or fat), when you claim to call out someone’s body size because you “care” about their health, it is not a beneficial statement in any sense of the word, and in actuality is far more harmful to any progress a person might have with relation to their health. What right do you have to talk about someone else’s body or health? You are hammering a distorted ideology that they are not normal, that they are not worthy, and convincing them that they are going to die early. The reason that there is a body positive movement is because we’re celebrating our bodies for the magic that they are and the beautiful things they are capable of.

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Sexy Sunday, Sex Positive Profiles- Girl on the Net

1. Name-
Girl on the Net - I'm anonymous so my real name's a secret
2. Occupation-
Again, it's secret. But publicly I'm a sex blogger and author.
3. How do you self define?-
I'm a straight woman, although I have occasionally forgotten the 'straight' part in the past when I've met particularly spectacular women. I still identify as straight, though, because my fantasies and cravings predominantly revolve around men.
4. What does the word sex mean to you?-
It means many different things to me, depending on the context. With some people it's inseparable from love, companionship, intimacy and knowledge of another person. But with others sex is like a fun game you play with a good friend. To me sex is something fun to do with someone you like - where 'like' can be anything from 'enjoy their company over a pint' to 'couldn't live without.'
5. What does the sex positive movement mean to you?-
It's all about love - understanding that love is one of the few things in the world that is truly universal: we all benefit from love, and we all strive to get it in one way or another. The sex positive movement is about understanding and embracing all of the different types of love that people feel and make, and celebrating them. I think the movement's got a long way to go before we get everyone doing the 'celebration' part, so at the moment I'll settle for us simply opening people's eyes to what's out there, and ensuring that people are never made to feel ashamed for their consensual sexual activities or desires.
6.
Sweet or savoury- Savoury - preferably cheese.
Book or film- Book.
Rainbow or glitter- Rainbow - glitter's a bit too scratchy.
Unicorns or dinasours-Dinosaurs.
The Smiths or The Clash- I don't know either of these bands - I'm very uncool.
Lights on or off -On
Candles or fairy lights- Candles
Cuddles or love letters- Love letters
Porn or Erotic literature-Porn
Online dating or set ups-Online dating
Cats or dogs-Cats
Spongebob or tigger-Tigger
7. What's your favourite sex posi resource?-
Twitter! I think there are so many great blogs and sites that if I only mentioned one I'd be doing the rest a disservice. Twitter is a great place to hear other people's experiences, ask questions and share your thoughts. I worry that the recent outbreak of trolling rage may have put some people off asking the questions they need to, or being honest about how they feel, but I think as long as you avoid being judgmental, Twitter is a fantastic place to learn about sex positivity.
8. Your perfect date? (If money were no object)-
Hmm... if money were no object I'd like to take a boy I know to somewhere remote and pretty, like Dartmoor. We'd go for a ten-mile hike, have sex somewhere out in the open with no one around, then hike back to a B&B where we'd shower off the rain and the sweat and the effort, then shag again on a bed with fresh sheets before getting pissed over an awesome meal and a few pints.
9. What was your sex ed like in school? Good points/bad points? Marks out of 10?-
It was comprehensive as far as the physical stuff was concerned - I lived in an area that had very high teen pregnancy rates and I think they did a pretty good job of explaining the literal ins and outs of sex, and how to avoid pregnancy/STIs. It really fell down on the emotional aspect, though, as well as information about relationships other than straight, traditional ones. No one ever taught us about the crucial things like consent, or the variety of sexual and emotional needs.
10. What's your wildest sexual experience?-
Hmm... it depends on what you count as wild. Probably the most porny was a scene I played in a fetish club with a few friends. We were in a caged-off room, being watched by a group of people. A few of the guys standing outside the room were masturbating furiously. I was bent over on a bed, a small blonde female friend was beating me with a leather crop, a lithe, brunette guy was holding me down while my boyfriend tugged at some nipple clamps I was wearing. It was intense, and terrifying, and delicious -mainly because I could hear the shuffling sounds of the wanking guys nearby.
11. At what age did you start masturbating?-
Twelve or thirteen - I remember having a bit of a 'eureka' moment as I read a dirty book I'd found at my Dad's house and rubbed my clit through my jeans.
12. What are your political views?-
Liberal, but not Liberal Democrat. I'm not a massive fan of the way politics is done in the UK at the moment, and party politics hacks me off. But if we could move towards a system where people were more engaged with politics, on a local and national level, and the impact of their choices was more apparent, I'd be happier.
13. Who is your sex idol?-
Pandora Blake. She's a fantastic spanking porn producer (and performer), with not only some excellent views on consent and how to portray it in porn, but also a genuinely delightful way with words.
14.
Love to- Be held down and fucked lying on my stomach, so that it's hard to breathe and hard to push back and hard to do anything other than moan with delight.
Sometimes will- Take the dominant role - if I'm feeling particularly confident.
Uncomfortable with- Post-sex cuddling. It's hot, dammit.
15. What is your sex motto?-
Easy on the foreplay, hard on the fucking.
16. What is your true passion in life?-
Writing. I love writing. I love the feeling you get when someone reads something you've written and says "wow, I liked that." Even better: "that was funny." In my dreams I'd like to make a living being an author. And in the wildest of all my dreams I'd like to be half as good an author as some of the other writers I admire.
17. You send one sex positive message out into the word in 7 words, what is it?-
"Someone else probably likes your kink too."
18. Do you believe everyone has a kink? If so what's yours? -
If you define kink as just 'something someone else might be surprised by' then definitely - I think each and every one of us enjoys or fantasises about something that might leave other people cold. It's all part of the beautiful complexity of human beings. My strongest kink (and I think I have a fair few) is my desire to be used. Even in relationships with guys I love deeply, the most erotic thing they can do is pretend they don't care about my pleasure and just want to use me as a receptacle to spunk into.
19. How do you define your relationship status at the moment?-
I'm in a relationship.
20. Where can we see more of you?-
I'm on twitter @girlonthenet, and I blog at www.girlonthenet.com. I've also got a book out, which is available on Amazon UK or Amazon US, and in a few other places too. If you're really interested, you can also find me on facebook.